Girls Make Girls Cry
by Dreadl0cked
Summary: Tori has had enough. After Jade does something that is truly cruel, Tori decides to give up on her. Now Jade is falling apart. And Also feeling things she wishes she wasn't. COVER ART BY RELATIVERELATIVITY
1. Chapter 1

**NEW STORY GUYS! I really hope you like it. There's strong language so if you don't like that then you shouldn't read it. Jori obviously.**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

"JADELYN. AUGUST. WEST." Tori's voice echoed through the hallways. All the noise went quiet as fellow students stared in awe at the skinny Latina's display of courage. No one in their right mind could talk to Jade like that. "What the hell did you do?" She says with the angriest face she had.

Jade turned around slowly, eyebrows raised to her hairline, and a scowl on her face. "Number 1. Don't you EVER call me by my full name again or I will rip your throat out." Jade stomps towards her, combat boots pounding against the floors, "Number 2. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Who do I think I am!?" Tori shouts as she closes what was left of the gap and sneers in Jade's face, "I'm so tired of this Jade. I've tried to be nice. I've been patient and helpful and everything I thought I could be to make you like me. And I really used to think that this had something to do with me. Like I was the messed up one. But it's you Jade."

Tori moves closer and whispers in Jade's ear, "You are so broken." Then she walks past her without looking back and heads to her theatre class. She's surprised Jade doesn't come chasing after her with an axe. Jade is stuck in the middle of the hallway. Her body feels frozen or maybe her boots melted into the floor. Her eyes sting a little but she doesn't know why. Then she feels something warm and wet slide down her cheek. Beck comes running from Sikowitz's class.

"Andre just told me what happened babe- Wait, Jade are you crying." He whispers the last part so she wouldn't get embarrassed but she suddenly feels so exposed. She wipes her eyes harshly and pushes him out of the way with a glare he knows means "Stay."

She goes to her car and finally breaks down. The windows are tinted so she doesn't worry about anyone seeing her. She doesn't know why she's so upset. Did she feel bad about it? Or worse, was she upset because Tori gave up on her?

Jade started her car and began to drive home in complete silence. Roughly 10 minutes later she climbed the steps to her front door and walked to her room. She collapsed on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. Emotions really drained her.

Jade

Tori was in the art room. I didn't even know she was into art. Like _art _art, paintings and junk. She was huddled over a sketchbook with her hair up in a bun. She looked peaceful. So I decided to ruin that. I slammed the door open and walk in dropping my bag by the chair next to her and plop down. Much to my dismay she had headphones in and was deeply involved with her art.

I sighed and tapped on her shoulder. She jumped a little which satisfied me a bit for now. Tori slid her headphones off and took off her glasses. She rubbed her eyes and asked, "Jade, uh, quick question. Why are you here?" I rolled my eyes and pointed towards the other side of the class. A statue in the form of Globe roughly 3 feet tall and made from scissors, rubber, trash, and other miscellaneous items stood near the corner of the room.

"I should've guessed that was yours." She says. Her eyes danced over it and she smiled, "It's pretty amazing. What does it mean?"

"The world is trash and anger." I reply.

"Ah. I see. You should add more trash if you're being honest." I laugh a little despite myself which makes her smile. Art Tori has a sense of humor. I liked that. Which I didn't like.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask sternly as I put my feet up on the table and tip my chair back. "Nothing." She responds.

"Oh?" I plant my feet back on the ground and push a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She jumps back which gives me a chance to grab her sketchbook. "Give it back!" She shouts trying to grab it. She's a weakling if we're honest so I use one hand to push her away and the other to check out her art.

She'd drawn herself sort of. It was an outline for a painting. It seemed like she was dancing but there were things around her, "What does this mean?"

"Jade please, give it back."

"Sure." She smiles, "If you tell me what it means." Her smile drops and she snatches it back. "Since when do you care about what I do?"

"I don't. But I do enjoy doing what I want and upsetting so the fact that you don't want me to know what this is about makes me want to know just exactly what it is about which will also upset you. So what is it?"

Tori sighs. She looks me up and down before making a decision. "I'm gonna show you something okay?" I shrug and she pauses for a moment before walking to the wall behind me. A large sheet is covering what I assume is a canvas. She grabs the cloth but hesitates. Tori spun around and said, "Jade I know you hate me but this is important to me so please don't tear me apart." My chest felt tight and I didn't know why. My face was the same though. I've been acting a long time and I know how to keep myself level. I nod and she turns back pulling the sheet off.

I gasp beside myself and cover my mouth, partially from embarrassment but also in awe. It was Tori's silhouette in a ballerina position. High on her toes, one hand in the air the other curled towards her stomach. There were strings coming off of her legs and arms as if she were a puppet. While there was color all around the edges and what seemed like the blur of faces in a crowd, there was a complete darkness engulfing around her.

"I'm not done yet." She says shyly.

"Yes you are. This is perfect." I reply in a softer voice then I knew I had. Tori looks up at me with her sad puppy dog eyes and smiles. I smile a bit too but rip it away and say, "This doesn't make us friends."

"Dammit Jade, must you kill every good moment we have?" Tori throws the sheet back over it and grabs her bags, "I gotta go…thanks for, uh, not being a jerk about the painting. I nod and she leaves. I've got this feeling in my gut that makes me go insane. It was almost like butterflies. Maybe more like bats.

Tori Vega. Miss Perfect Singer and Star and now painter too I guess. I think about how she smiled when I complimented her and the bats get wilder. I think about her crouching over her sketchbook, completely engulfed in her work. My stomach feels like a war zone. I think about her messy bun and how beautif-

I jump up, knocking my chair over and I try to calm myself. I use every acting skill I have in me to keep myself composed but acting is only paint of a hole in the wall.

"Vega." I said to myself. Nothing happened.

"Tori Vega." A tingle went through my stomach.

"Tori Vega…is beautiful." My stomach erupts, redness burns my face, and I am angry. Angry and happy. I don't want to be another mindless idiot she wraps around her finger. I don't want to like her, I don't want be her friend, I don't want to find her beautiful.

I look slowly to the wall. The sheet lays lifeless across Tori's spectacular master piece. My heart beats slow and my blood runs cold. I grab my scissors from my bag.

Slash. Slash. Slash _slash slash slash SLASH!_

The painting is unrecognizable already but I can't stop. I want to rip every piece of her out of this canvas, out of me. When I stop, my scissors fall to the floor and I feel something I don't feel often.

Guilty.

I can feel hot tears dripping down my face. My heart pounds against my chest as if it the only working organ left in my body. I imagine her face when she sees it.

No, Fuck her. FUCK TORI VEGA. Fuck her for coming here and ruining my life. Fuck her for being talented and nice and so amazing. Fuck her for being everything I'm not!

I snatch my scissors up and stomp out the door. When I get home I shower as if I could wash the blood, or in this case paint, off my hands.

When Jade wakes up her whole body hurts. She rubs her eyes and grabs her phone. No new messages. Of course not. They'd all taken Tori's side of course. She understood why. She knew she was wrong but it still stung. She knew how disposable she was. She knew Tori was right.

She was broken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys. I'm back! Sorry this took so long. I was having a hard time writing from Tori's perspective. She's a lot nicer than I'm used to writing. Anyways I hope you like it! Please leave reviews if you can. I'd love to hear em :) Also I've been reviewing all of my documents for typos and there arent any when I save them but then when I read through once they're published they appear? haha sorry about that**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

* * *

><p><em>We need to talk<em>

Tori stares at her phone as Jade's message glares back at her. It's insane how badly she wants to go and hear her out but she knows that for once in her life she has to be strong. She has let too many people hurt her. This time she was getting out before she even flinched.

_Screw you._

She drops her phone into her bag and puts her head on the desk. She doesn't move until the bell rings. She grabs her things and walks solemnly to her locker. Jade is waiting there for her and Tori's stomach is going insane. She has to stand her ground.

"Vega, listen-"She starts.

"No. There's nothing you could possibly say to fix this." And with that she turned on her heel and headed to the parking lot. Today was too much for her. She opened her glove compartment and popped 2 of her anxiety pills into her mouth.

* * *

><p>"Why are you rubbing my boyfriend!?" a feminine voice with crushing power flies over the room and I wonder what the fuck I just got myself into. Turning I see her standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, pale and Goth with curves like a godsend. How badly I wished I had spilled coffee on her.<p>

I've known I was gay since 8th grade. Well I mean, I always knew I liked girls but I didn't know there was a name for it until then. I was never ashamed of it. Not until my parents found out.

I was so excited to tell them about her. Nicki was soft and gentle. Her lips tasted like cinnamon. But when I told them that we were dating, I had to switch schools. I really didn't think they'd care. They aren't religious or anything. My dad hated it the most. He said it was disgusting.

So instead I kiss boys that taste like smoke and treat me badly. I'm hoping that one day I'll fall for one of them the way I fell for Jade but none of them smell like her. A part of me was still hoping she'd glance my way with that look in her eyes that said she felt it too but her hands and eyes are always glued to Beck.

I tried. I really did. I thought I could live with being her friend but even that was impossible. Part of me thought that maybe just maybe she was hiding some sliver of human decency in her soul. I was wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong.

I hear the bell ring across the parking lot and I decide I might as well go to lunch. Cat should be able to lift my mood with her talk of her movie make up class. Walking towards the café I can feel my anxiety meds starting to work. I'm praying I can make it through the day without a panic attack.

"Tori you missed it!" Cat squeals as I approach the table. Andre is having a laughing fit and Robbie looks terrified. "Sinjin was trying to hit on the buff new girl and she kicked him off the balcony!" Cat's eyes got wide and she covered her mouth.

"I'm okay!" I heard behind me. Sinjin is sprawled out on his back waving a thumb up in the air. I drop my bag laughing and go get a burrito and fries from Festus. I get caught in a small conversation in line and when I return the whole atmosphere has changed. Jade is sitting next to my things stabbing her salad.

"Cat was sitting there." I say coldly.

"And now she's not." Jade deadpans.

I roll my eyes and sit down next to her. The table is still silent. Everyone is picking at their food quietly, not even looking at each other.

"Okay what's going on?" I ask Andre. Robbie and Cat look at each other with terror in their eyes before jumping up to leave. "Jade and Beck broke up so now we all have to suffer." He whispers to me. Jade gives him a look and he puts his hands up but then she just laughs bitterly while Beck eats.

"Uh... okay. What are you doing for the Halloween Song Special?"

"You'll see chica. But I am gonna need some background dancers so I might let you in on it a little sooner." He winks at me before stuffing some fries into his mouth.

I feel Jade's boot hit my foot. I didn't say anything as Beck and Andre kick started a conversation about some new action movie 'Kick Punch'. She kicked me again but softer and her boot lingered against mine. I kicked it and went back to my lunch.

But then Jade's hand was on my thigh. I jumped up quickly and grabbed my things before running off. I heard the boys calling my name but I continued speed walking to the bathroom. My phone went off.

_I told you we needed to talk._

Butterflies exploded through my body. God dammit, I can't let her win. I can't let her control me. "This could only end badly." I told myself.

_Jade. Leave me the fuck alone._

Send.

Hopefully one day I'll really want her to.

* * *

><p>Jade looked at her phone. Tori's words flashed in front of her. The world was dripping and melting and her skin felt tight. She was feeling a hundred different things. She didn't know how to apologize but she was afraid that now she wouldn't even get the chance to learn.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow okay so I really felt like writing today. in fact I might even update again after this but Idk yet haha. So I hope you guys like it!**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

* * *

><p>"Shapiro!" I scream as Robbie tries to run into a classroom to hide, "I'm driving you home. Let's go."<p>

"Does Rex have to sit in the trunk again?" He whines as he follows behind me. He already knows the answer. We cross the parking lot and as we approach my car I pop the trunk. He places Rex in the back taking an unnecessary amount of time to make sure the stupid doll is comfortable. Once his door shuts I peel out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"Jesus, Jade. I don't even have my seatbelt on."

"Okay no more whining. You're voice gives me cramps." He begins to say something but pouts instead. He fidgets with his hands in his lap. The kid really is lost without his puppet. We drive in silence for a bit longer before he starts, "So why am I here-"

"How do I get Vega to talk to me again?" I say with my eyes on the road.

"Tori? Why do you care if Tori talks to you?"

"Was that my question? No. How do I get her to talk to me?" He clears his throat and thinks for a minute, "To be honest Jade, I don't know. I've never seen Tori this upset before. I mean it's been almost a week and she still hasn't broken down and talked to you. What you did was pretty shitty. She was going to enter that thing in the art show."

"How was I supposed to know that!?" I yell. He puts his hands in front of his face in terror, "It was just a stupid painting."

"Obviously not to her. And let's be honest, even if you had known about the art show, it wouldn't have stopped you." I sigh. He's right. I was too involved with my own emotions at the time. I was trying so hard not to admit what had been there the whole time that I might've ruined my chance at something normal.

"Is that why you and Beck broke up?" He asked shyly.

"Kinda." I pause trying to form the right words, "Everything was too forced. I forced myself to love him and to hate her and now it's all falling apart."

Robbie is about as emotionally stunted as I am so he pats my arm before hiding them back in his lap. He's always been my secret friend. We've known each other since 8th grade and I saved his butt from quite a few bullies. He, of course, saved me from my own bully. Myself.

He was the one I ran to before Vega showed up. When Beck and I fought, Robbie would help me figure out a way to fix it. He knew just about everything. He's kinda my best friend but we don't talk about that because he's too much of a dweeb for me to be seen with. Walking around with Cat's sparkles and sunshine is one thing but a mop headed, puppet toting dork is another.

He didn't know about the Vega thing yet. I didn't wanna talk about it until I knew for sure. I still don't so he'll have to wait. I pull into his driveway and let him out.

"Ya know Jade, if you're really sorry just tell her."

"I've tried that dumbass."

"Yea but have you really?" I look at him like he's an idiot before it clicks.

"Robbie Shapiro if I didn't find you so utterly repulsive I just might kiss you." I say with a smirk and an eyebrow raise. "Hurtful but you're welcome." He replies slamming the car door and heading inside.

I get home and whip out my laptop. I get started right away on my plan. _This is the only way I can make it up to you Vega. I hope it's enough._

* * *

><p>"Cat. Get off of me. "Jade's voice is calm for once. Cat lets go but still has a smile plastered on her face.<p>

"Sorry Jadey, I'm just so glad you're gonna do this for Tori!" She shouts before Jade's hand covers her mouth. "It's a secret Kit Kat. Can you keep a secret?" Cat nods with Jade's hand still on her mouth.

"Good. You and Shapiro are surprisingly the only people I trust. So you'll have to help me." Cat nods enthusiastically and claps her hands, "I love helping!"

"I'm aware Cat. Just make sure you get her into the black box by 5th period." The redhead beams brightly, obviously excited by her mission. Jade smiles weakly and heads off in the other direction. She just hopes this works.

* * *

><p>"TORITHERESA MONSTER IN THE SCHOOL AND WE HAVE TO HIDE AND RUNAWAYVERYFASTNOW." Cat appeared out of nowhere yelling nonsense while I grabbed my things from my locker. Robbie covered her mouth with his hand and laughed nervously, "What she means is, uh, we need your help scrubbing fake barf off the walls in the theatre!"<p>

Cat licked or bit his hand and he let go, "Robbie that was even worse than what I said." She half whispered at him slapping his arm.

"What's going on you guys?" I ask.

They look at each other then back at me. There is a slight pause.

"PLAN B!" They both shout before manhandling me and dragging me away. "Help! Help me! I'm being abducted!"

"No she's not!"

"Everything's fine." They yelled at the passerby's staring in shock.

They dragged me kicking and screaming into the black box. Robbie sat me down in a seat and held me there while Cat tried to calm me down.

"Jesus, when I asked you guys to get Vega I didn't think you'd have to tie her up." A figure appears from off stage and heads into the light. Jade stands in front of me with a strange smile on her face. One that almost looks…remorseful?

"I'm leaving." I try to stand but Robbie and Cat both hold me down. "Robbie you're so weak! Just sit on her." Cat shouts. Suddenly his bony butt is on my lap keeping me in place, "This is weird for us both Tori. But it's for the best." He whispers.

"Guys, I'm serious. Let me go!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say." Jade says in a soft almost nice voice, "I've never been much for apologies or talking for that matter. So I had to write it out. I had to actually fucking script this thing because I'm so messed up I can't even be sincere on my own. This is a poem for you. Not a "_roses are red, violets are blue_" shitty poem. A real one that I hope…well just listen."

I don't say anything. Even though I know I don't want to hear it. I don't want to let her become my frenemy again. I sit there and I listen.

"Melissophobia:

The fear of bees.

When you're afraid of something, suddenly it's everywhere.

You can hear a buzz in a crowded subway.

You can feel a sting in an empty room.

I never liked the color yellow.

And my mother was allergic to bees.

So I never really saw them as more than a nuisance.

I've spent days indoors when I thought

I saw a streak of gold fly by my ear.

I have been an elephant afraid of mice.

I have been a river afraid of freezing over.

When you see her

She will be buzzing and bright and everything

you have ever dreamed about.

And you will be terrified.

You have spent your whole life in fear of this moment.

You have avoided it as much as you can

but there is no escaping it.

When you're afraid of something

Suddenly it is the only thing meant to be in your life.

My parents used to scream until their throats were sore.

My home was a smashed beehive.

Honey dripping from it's creases

hoping to hold it together.

When you're afraid of something

suddenly it only makes sense to want it.

I'm conflicted about your presence even now.

I still can't tell if you smell like honey or if your touch

is a bee sting.

Because you've left a part of me red and welting.

Melissophobia: The fear of bees

Athazagoraphobia: The fear of being abandoned.

Philophobia: The fear of love.

When you're afraid of something.

Suddenly, there is nothing else more important."

Jade finishes and she rubs her hands together before crossing them in front of her chest. Robbie gets off of me and drags Cat out of the theatre. I sit there in a stunned silence. For the first time ever Jade looks nervous. I am too but I'm also angry. Why did she have to tell me now? When I was finally getting away from her. When I was finally saving myself.

"Goddammit Jade." I say, tears threatening to spill over. She steps off of the stage and walks to the seat in front of mine. She sits and crosses her arms across the back of the chair resting her head on them. Her eyes are glued to the floor.

"I'm sorry I'm so broken Vega-," She starts.

"Please don't."

"I've been trying to get you off my mind for so long-,"

"Jade please just let me hate you!" she grabs my hands.

"But I can't. You're always there. You're always the one I want-,"

"I don't want to be anymore." My voice is so weak and my eyes are burning. Jade is squeezing my hands or I'm squeezing hers either way they're threatening to crush under the weight of all these confessions, "I tried so hard Jade. I wanted to be your everything but you wouldn't let me so I tried to be your friend. I tried to be your...something. And you said no."

"I'm saying yes now though Vega-,"

"I don't care. I can't be a puppet anymore. Not to you, not to anyone." I say tearing my hands away from hers. She's crying now too and it almost makes me happy. I want this to hurt her as much as it hurts me, "I'm tired Jade. I'm so tired."

"Please listen-,"

"I can't. Not right now." The look on her face is a mix of terror and heartbreak. My body hurts, my head is a mess. I'm finally getting what I wanted but at what cost. Do I even still want this? The lump in my throat says I do.

"Just… Can you just give me some time? A week. Or a few days. Just. I just need to think." A sliver of hope flashes across her eyes but I see her wipe it away along with her tears. She nods. I stand and turn to leave before stopping. I turn back to my porcelain prison and kiss her softly on the cheek.

"Vega. I'm so sorry." She says. I don't respond. I just stroke the top of her head and leave. I can hear her heartbreak in each step I take. But I keep going.

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><p><strong>Okay. SO the poem Jade read is actually mine! I'm a slam poet in omaha. You can actually look me up on youtube. Just PM or if enough of you really wanna know I'll just put it in my next update. Please don't steal it from me but if you wanna use it just ask! I don't mind. :) Please review and junk. thanks guys 3<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter was hard for me to write for a lot of reasons that I wont bore you with haha. I hope you like it. ALthough the ending didn't go exactly how I wanted it to the next chapter will fix things up.**

**WARNING: This is an M rated chapter. Sorrrrrryyyy**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

She's staring isn't she? I can feel her staring at me. Cat was on my side when this all started and now suddenly she's team Jade. "Can you not?" I ask exasperated. She crosses her arms and huffs with the trademark pouty Cat face, "It's not fair. Jadey said she was sorry and she's never sorry! And you won't even talk to her."

I sigh loudly and close my notebook knowing I won't be getting any work done with this one around, "Cat I haven't been sleeping well can we please talk about this later."

"You must really hate her."

"I don't hate her. I… I opposite of hate her. That's the issue we're having."

"She wrote you a poem. _Beck_ never got a poem._ I_ never got a poem. How come you're so special?"

"Wait why would you have gotten a poem?" I ask quizzically.

"Uh," Cat twirls her hair around her finger and looks in every direction but mine, "No reason. The point is she's sorry and so you should at least talk to her and-,"

"Fine! I get it. If you promise to stop bugging me about her I will try and talk to Jade after school."

"Yay!" She claps her hands and then hugs me tightly, almost taking my breath out of my body, "Can I borrow your credit card?" she asks.

"Why?" I say, dragging the word out. She giggles and covers her mouth before shrugging. I'm too tired to ask any more questions so I pull out my purse and hand it over. She swipes it through a portable credit card slot attached to her phone then hands it back. "Uh…okay."

"I bought a hedgehog." She says smiling brightly.

"Yea, okay, why?"

"That guy from one direction, Niall, he kinda looks like a hedgehog so I thought 'Hey! I should send that kid a hedgehog.' And so I did." She laughs before gathering her things and skipping out of the classroom.

The bell rings a second later and I groan loudly. Study hall was my only chance to get my math homework done for the day. In the hallway I can feel another pair of eyes staring into my back, "Cat I said-," I turn around and bump into Jade. She grabs my waist to keep me from falling over my own feet, "Oh. Sorry Jade."

"It's fine." She says. I can tell she wants to say more but instead she just looks to the ground and heads off. I quickly grab her arm and say, "I wanna talk." Her eyes get wide, "Not right now, I mean. I'm literally about to pass out. So you could stop by after I nap today. Come by my house at 7:30, okay?" She nods and let go of her arm. I'm just praying this goes well.

* * *

><p>The pale Goth girl sits in her Screenwriting class scribbling notes. She doesn't really need to pay attention in this class since it's sort of her forte but she tries to tune in when she can. But today her head is wrapped around the possible friendship, or maybe something more, with a skinny Latina girl.<p>

Honestly both thoughts terrified her. But the thought of losing her scared her even more.

_How the fuck did this happen?_ She thought to herself. She remembers the first time she saw Tori. She really did hate her at first she just wasn't sure why. Now it was all very clear. Once Tori refused to kiss Beck after Jade had stolen her spotlight, she knew. The raven haired girl was smitten.

She wasn't sure what to tell her though. I mean, she'd spent the past 2 years making her life hell. What could she possibly say, "Sorry I had an elementary school kid crush on you and rather than deal with my emotions I decided to be a total gank." Yea, like that'd work.

Jade rubbed her temples and then her eyes before resting her head on the desk. She must've fallen asleep because suddenly she was in another world where she wasn't afraid to hold Tori Vega's hand and kiss her on the cheek. She could smell the Latina's perfume perfectly and her smile was just as bright as the real thing.

She woke up when the kid in front of her dropped his notebook on the floor. There was only about 10 minutes left of this class so she grabbed her things and headed out the door, "Jade, uh, Jade where are you going?" her timid, gray haired teacher called. She neglected to respond but the stomp of her boots and the slam of the door must've been a pretty good answer.

Across the street there's a quiet little coffee shop that Jade sometimes snuck off to. She ordered her usual and then added a chai tea latte. She paid the guy and grunted thanks before heading back to the school. The bell rang just as Jade walked through the main doors of Hollywood Arts. She considered dumping the tea from embarrassment but swallowed her pride and strutted confidently to the locker of her least favorite (and secretly most favorite) person.

Tori came by a minute or so later with a surprised look on her face, "Don't say anything. Just take it and, yup, I'm gonna go now." She handed the tea over and turned to walk away before stopping. Jade whispered to herself "Fuck." Before turning to kiss Vega softly on her cheek. A blush crept across Tori's face as the Goth disappeared to class. She sipped her latte and smiled.

* * *

><p>I passed out as soon as I got home. Unfortunately it was one of those naps where you actually feel worse after. Like my head had caved in and the light burned my eyes. I went down to the kitchen to make some coffee when the bell rang. Suddenly I remembered just who was going to be standing at the door. "Shit." I mumble.<p>

"No cursing please." My mom says gliding down the stairs.

"Mom, can you distract the person at the door while I do my hair?" She looks at me and winks before heading towards the door. I sneak up the stairs with my coffee in hand, doing my best not to spill.

I pull a comb through my rats nest but it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere when a voice comes behind me, "Damn Vega, I never thought you'd be so worried to look nice for me." I turn around and find Jade wearing a smirk on her gorgeous face. I wanna slap it off.

"Honestly I thought you were Beck." I say with a wink. She gets a little red which makes me glow inside but to ease her mind I take her hand and lead her to my room. I take a hair tie from my desk and throw my mane into a sloppy bun. My head is still aching so I nurse my coffee while we sit in silence.

"Are you going to say anything?" I snap. Jade's eyes get wide in shock but then narrow out with anger, "You told me to come over so you could _talk_, remember?" She sneers, eyebrow raised. I rub my temples and apologize quietly. The silence covers us again. It isn't awkward but you can feel all of the questions begging to be asked floating through the air.

"Do you like me Jade? _Like_ like?" I say, staring into my coffee.

"Are we in 3rd grade now?' Jade replies. I sigh and consider kicking her out before she adds, "yea… I do _like_ like you." Her hands are in her lap as she fiddles with a bracelet, "a lot actually." I smile despite myself.

"Well? Do you like me or not?" She snaps. I laugh internally and nod my head yes. The raven haired girl drops her gaze back to her lap and tries to hide a smile but I see it and it sends shivers throughout my body.

"So why do you treat me like this?" I ask her.

She fidgets for moment as if she's trying to find the words before she responds, "My mother loved my father desperately. And he did too at first I think. They were everything I dreamt of having but then things got bad. And they fought. And god, they hated each other. And that scared me. I didn't- I still don't understand how someone can be everything to you one minute and then nothing. I never wanted to love anyone. I never wanted to worry about them still being mine in the morning." She says.

"What about Beck?"

"Beck was a trial run. He was safe and simple. I thought it would be okay but then I realized that I never really loved him. Not like that at least." I let her words sink in. They almost make sense.

"I thought that if I hated you first and forever… then we'd never have to know the pain of losing each other." For reasons I can't explain, those words ignite a rage within me, "Oh whatever Jade. Parents get divorced. That isn't an excuse to be a gank to people you say you care about. You can't be afraid of everything just because they signed a few papers and hit the road."

"Screw you Vega," She says with venom in her voice, "My parent's didn't get divorced. My mom killed herself." Jade's words drip from her mouth bitterly. I'm too stunned to respond. Too ashamed to apologize. Her eyes are brimming over with angry tears but she wipes them away, "This was a mistake." She stands to leave but I grab her and wrap her in my arms. She fights it for a second before collapsing into the embrace, sobbing against my chest.

Jade pushed away first and turned away from me. She wiped her eyes before turning back. We stood in silence before she almost whispered, "Now what?" I shrug. I'm as lost as she is.

"What does this make us?" I ask her. She looks into my eyes. There's something there that I can't figure out. She shakes her head, "I don't know." The uncertainty in her voice scares me. It's like we've made all of this progress just to fall short now.

"I want to be with you." I tell her. She smiles and moves towards me. Our foreheads touch and she whispers back, "I want to be with you too." Although she doesn't say it there is an unspoken "but" in the air. But people will talk. But Beck is our friend. But we would never work.

Everything begins to go slow. Our noses touch and our hands wrap around each other. I never expected Jade to be soft but when her lips graze against mine it's almost as if she isn't there. She kisses me slowly. Like she has to hold onto this because she doesn't know when she can have it again. But then I can taste her hunger. And she kisses me again. Hard. Her hands are tangled in my hair while mine are clinging to the back of her shirt. It isn't messy but it is fast and passionate. I feel like she is trying to prove something.

I peel off her shirt and push her onto my bed. I crawl on top of her and kiss her neck. I can almost hear the smirk in her voice when she asks, "Have you done this before?"

"Maybe once or twice." I nip at the skin under her jawline and whisper, "Or maybe I've just dreamt of this for a while." She grabs my chin and pulls me back into her. Our lips are gentle but assertive. We both know what we want.

Normally I'd say dry humping is gross because I've down it with guys and it is. With a boy it just feels desperate. Just an ache to fuck. But with a girl, with Jade, it was desperation to be closer. To feel every part of each other.

My shirt is off next. When our skin meets it's almost like a fire. I kiss down her porcelain chest before remembering my mom is home.

"Okay mild mood killer. My mom is here somewhere."

"No she's not." Jade says with mischievous smile, "She tried to distract me at the door so I mentioned the 70% off sale at Loft and-"

"She was gone." I finish laughing. She nods and I place a kiss right above the hem of her jeans. I add more as I unzip and peel them off of her legs. I graze my thumb over her panties and she shivers. I kiss the inside of her thigh before slipping her underwear off as well.

"Vega, I've only done this with Beck and it was okay but it never really got me anywhere so if I make noise don't laugh because-," The last of her words slur over as she falls back into my pillows. My tongue is gliding over her clit and into her. Her legs get tight around my head and her hips buck up against me. Jade's covering her mouth desperately but her moans still slip out. Just the fact that I made her feel this way makes my body warm.

Her muscles got tight and she moaned out "Fffuck." Before a rush of wet warmth dripped onto my lips. Suddenly she grabbed my arms and pulled at me to come back up to her. She kissed me desperately as if everything she couldn't say was left in each peck.

Her hand dipped into my pants and rubbed over my panties. I grinded against her hand aching for her move under the wet fabric.

"T-Tori," She says looking up at me with sad, anxious eyes, "Do you love me?" Her features are soft. Too soft to be her own almost. Too soft to be anything other than sincere.

"I love you." I kiss her cheek, "I love you." Her lips, "I love you." Her jaw, "I love you." Her throat.

She finally dips into my pants completely and I can't help but hide in the crook of her neck. I breathe heavily against her and moan into her ear so that this is a secret. So that it's just for her and I. Her fingers move in deeper and I almost lose control.

"Tell me you want me." She says.

"Jade, fuck, I want you." She thrusts her fingers in deeper, "Jesus, I need you." I crash my lips into her in attempts to wipe away all doubt from her mind. Her fingers are making me want to sing and the warmth of her topless body against mine sets me on fire. A wave of, of… oh fuck a metaphor. She made me cum. I died a hundred ecstatic little deaths and dripped onto her fingers.

She slid out of me and pulled me even closer to her body. I pulled a blanket over us. Jade's heart beat was steady and comforting. I could feel her drawing little circles into my back as she kissed my forehead.

"I love you Tori Vega." She said softly, almost as a whisper.

"I love you too."

We stayed like that all night. We didn't talk, we just breathed in the unfamiliar air of each other. Of accepting this…thing we had between us. I fell asleep thinking we had started something beautiful. I was wrong.

"Jade you can't just fuck me and then leave." Tori says playfully as the raven haired girl pulls her clothes on.

"I stayed the night, what more did you expect?" She responds. Jade had become herself again but Tori ignored it. She assumed this was just how Jade was going to be. Just because they'd confessed their love for each other didn't mean Jade would become a romantic comedy character.

"Spend the day with me, please. It's a Saturday." The Latina pleaded with a playful pout on her lips. "No Vega. Jesus, don't be so clingy."

The comment hurt but Tori tried to ignore it until the pale girl said, "I'm sorry about last night."

"What do you mean?"

Jade sighed, "You're like a lost puppy. Last night was a mistake. I shouldn't have let you touch me." The Latina looked at her with confusion covering her face, "Oh my God, you didn't- Vega, you don't actually think you and I could ever be a couple, do you?"

Tori's eyes burned but she refused to cry. Instead she began to laugh bitterly. Jade looked at her curiously but Tori was silent. "Look, it just wasn't meant to be."

"One minute you're begging me to say I love you then the next you're telling me that it was a mistake. You're hilarious Jade. You're so funny."

Jade suddenly felt guilty which was a new feeling for her. She was trying hard to pretend she didn't care but she couldn't, "Tori I do love you. This is just-"

"Shut the fuck up Jade. Don't ever say those words to me again. You're pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Get out of my house." Tori grabbed a change of clothes and stormed from the room. She had let her in again. She had let Jade try to fix things and she'd only made things worse. Why couldn't she just let herself be happy? Why was it so hard to let the Latina love her?

When Tori got out of the shower all traces of the pale Goth were gone. It was as if she'd never been here. But she had. And that was something she couldn't forget.

She took out her bottle of anxiety pills and popped 4 into her mouth. 2 more than she was allowed to take a day. At this point it didn't matter.

Her phone rang. Looking at the caller ID she sees Jade's name flash on the screen. She ignores it and turns the damn thing off. She goes over to her desk and opens the bottom drawer. She pulls out a half empty bottle of vodka. The top twists off easily before she chokes down as much as she can. Tori wanted- Tori _needed_ to forget Jade's name.

* * *

><p><strong>So yea. that just happened. Notes? <strong>


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